I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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