I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
