That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize