I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
