I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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