I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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