I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
