dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
