Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
