I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
