census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
