do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
