when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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