I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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