oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
