i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He passed out mid-signature
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
