Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize