just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
