It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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