I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
