i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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