Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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