everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
