I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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