I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Shame - the story of my life.
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