Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize