saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize