Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize