Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
