Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
