he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
