Just cropdusted the office
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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