Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize