So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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