Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
