thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize