yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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