Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
