Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
