I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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