just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize