my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
