I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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