You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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