Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
