Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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