I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize