At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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