How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
