Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
