He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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