my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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