He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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