We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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