u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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