Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
