Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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