Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize