so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
