just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
