Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
