i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
