Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
